Ephesians 6:1-4 (NRSB)) 1Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2HONOR YOUR FATHER AND MOTHER (which is the first commandment with a promise), 3SO THAT IT MAY BE WELL WITH YOU, AND THAT YOU MAY LIVE LONG ON THE EARTH. 4Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
Colossians 3:20-21 (NIV) 20Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. 21Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.
“Do not provoke your children to anger,” Paul says. The first and primary way of helping our children is to do them no harm. He says we are to bring children up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. He is talking about constant, continual behavior toward our children, and the key phrase for fulfilling this command is “of the Lord.” The discipline and instruction must be carried out in a way that is in keeping with the character of God that we have known in Jesus Christ.
We do two things. One is we discipline, which can mean to disciple or train and usually has to do with setting protective and helpful limits with our children. We set limits in the spirit of the Lord, where we have a right and responsibility.
Secondly, we “instruct them.” The Greek meaning is “to put in someone’s mind,” and it refers to what we say in the spirit of God to teach our children. This means when we instruct we do not threaten, we weigh our words for accuracy, and we do not say it again and again. Words that carry the will of God do not need the force of our threats or the power of our bringing it up again and again. Words that are on wings of God will get through.
Sometimes even after we have followed the wisdom of God as best we know how things may not end “happily ever after.” We know that the God who created the first children created them free, placed them in a perfect environment, and dealt with them in a perfect way but Adam and Eve still made a mess of their lives.
If indeed we have failed as a parent there is forgiveness for that, and the sooner we accept it the better off everyone will be, including our grown children. But we also need to make sure that we are measuring our success and failure by the right standard, which is not our children’s behavior, but our own. The final verdict I believe God will pronounce upon every parent is this, In so much as you sought to be faithful to me in your responsibility I gave you, come, o blessed of my Father and inherit the happy home that I have prepared for you.
From a sermon preached by Henry Dobbs Pope April 23, 1989
© Rhonda Hinkle Mitchell Broyles
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